Levi KeswickWhat is a person to do with that pesky straw? Pretty much whatever you want, as long as you can handle the consequences of your actions.
Cocktail straws are designed for optimal annoyance. They’re too small to drink out of, they are great at poking you in the face, they leave liquid stains when you take them out of a drink and they are everywhere.
Of course, the straw itself is not responsible for its actions, it’s those crazy humans. That’s right, straws. You might not realize it, but you and I are responsible for the excessive use of straws around the world. We press them to our lips and suck the cold refreshing drinks right out of them. We wave them around in the air, poke bystanders in the eye, and force innocent inanimate people to do things too terrible for me to repeat here. I know, I’ve heard the rumors, but that’s okay because they’re completely untrue.
So, what should you do with this straw? Well, it’s actually your responsibility as a member of society to use the straw in whatever way you deem fit. Common, however, is probably to use your straw in a way that annoys as many people as possible. After all, isn’t that why you took the straw in the first place?
But in the case of everything not being black and white, of there being something in between the dots, the following is a breakdown of what you should do in each situation.
What to Do With A Cocktail Straw?
1. Follow the lead of the person in front of you. You might not know what kind of straw they have been given (more on that later) but you should, of course, model your straw usage behavior as close to theirs as possible with a few exceptions.
2. If there is no one in front of you and you are using a straw in a multiple person situation, you should make eye contact with each and every person in the room and decide for yourself whether or not you should follow their lead. If you are at an office Christmas party and that person is your boss, you shouldn’t use the giant straw that you found dented up in the corner of the closet and you shouldn’t wiggle it, mimic the sound, and wink in their direction.
3. When you are following someone else’s lead and they also use a straw, you could actually decide to not use a straw. And, you know what? You even have the right to ask for a straw if you’re in a situation with no straw in sight. Obviously, it goes without saying that in these cases you should not use a straw like you couldn’t care less about the environment and you plan to burn the planet down.
4. If you also have a straw in front of you and someone else is in front of you, you are in a great position to break your straw and then everyone will be stuck in this mess together.
5. If you have an alternate, you cannot ask for a straw. This is a hard and fast rule. It would be nice if straws could speak for themselves, but they cannot, so following this rule ensures that your straw will not use foul language in front of your boss and coworkers. Because you definitely don’t want your boss thinking that you said, “Well, I’m not a douchebag.”
6. If you follow someone’s lead and they are just using a straw for sipping and not for, well, whatever straws can apply to, you might want to question their life choices.
7. You should always attempt to use your straw in a manner that can be imitated by a two year old. The physical ability to do so is not necessary.
8. If you have a cocktail with a giant red straw and you’re alone, you could sing the “Red” song by Taylor Swift. You should not do this if you have a giant green straw and it is Christmas. Once you have made your decision, the choice is binding.
9. If you have a straw in a can of beer, take your straw out before you drink. Unless you are drinking a can of beer in the swimming pool.
10. If you’re in college and you can drink a can of beer together with your straw, everyone around you is getting a little dirty. And in case you didn’t know, the straw should go in your mouth.
If you think about the fact that straws were created for the sole purpose of sipping from a glass, you may not shock one’s friends when you decide to not use a straw. Be proud of your decision and take a sip.
While you are free to live your life however you see fit, you cannot be more free than you are when you are not using a straw.
Why Do Cocktail Have a Straw?
It is a well known fact that a straw in a mixed drink is a tongue of its own. It can be used to convey subtle social messages, or, in extreme cases, the structure and nature of the universe.
Most people use their straws to do things such as peak over the rim of their glass to see if their dates are looking at them, or to time how long it takes a member of the opposite sex to return a drink.
There is no right or wrong use for a straw, but there is a correct way to select which straw to use.
Common Colors
Green straws exist today, but they are not common. Since green is the color of nature, romantic overtures should not be made with green straws.
Red is also another potential color for a straw, but red is also the color of love, which means that red straws are strictly for romantic situations.
Green and red straws are strictly for use in occasions that have nothing to do with romance.
Sizes
Sizes of straws range from smaller to larger. To use a smaller size straw, you must act as though you intend to take perfect sips of your drink. To use a larger straw, you have the option of putting your mouth on the glass with the straw on top, or you could simply come up for air without moving your hand. It is also okay to spoon all the lumps of ice at once and move your straw to the top of your drink without removing it.
There is a reason behind everything.
Intent
A straw has no mind of it’s own, it is a tool with no judgment, however, there is a reason why some people use big long straws. It is a sign that they are ready to go the extra mile. They don’t give a damn who’s watching. If you have ever seen a person take a straw to their lips or put a straw back into their mouth but keep it there unmoving, then you’ve seen someone with a sense of decorum that is rare.
Sometimes people use straws as weapons. These people display a weakness within themselves. They feel inadequate, but they’re not. They’re just fine. They’re fine just the way they are. They just don’t know it yet.
Thinking Outside The Box
Straws are great. They make drinking things easier and they protect teeth from getting dirty. People use straws all the time. It’s no wonder they’re such a common item. People use them because they’re great. They look at it as a part of their way of life. Never questioned.
In this society that we live in, many of us feel as though we have no control over the day-to-day things that happen to us. So when something, such as a straw, comes along that allows us to have some sort of say in what we do, take it. It’s a chance to be an active participant in something that’s common.
In Summary
Use a straw if you have one in your hand. This way you will have a straw if you need or want it.
Have a nice day and remember that when using your straw, remember your best intentions.
Why Use A Straw When Drinking A Cocktail?
By using a straw when drinking a cocktail, you are making a bold fashion choice and setting yourself apart from the crowd, because nobody is using a straw anymore. The uses of a straw aren’t just limited to cocktails, they can be used with any drink that is available to the public. Imagine how many straws can be used, if you were to go out to dinner one night with the rest of your friends that drank their drinks without a straw. The possibilities are endless.
Straws are getting more and more popular each day, and once you get the hang of it, you’ll never go back.
The most popular straw right now is the gold straw; after all, what’s better than gold? However, you can also use your imagination, and make some fun new designs. Anything you want, really. So don’t feel limited while making a fashion statement with your straw.
The best part about using a straw is that you can do it inside of a building or outside. It’s perfect for any occasion. You should give it a shot whenever possible. Don’t miss out on the fun.
The Trouble With Straws
Many people have concerns about using straws. This could be a problem with using plastic straws, because they’re bad to the environment, or just a problem with using straws in general. The straw can do any job that you want it to do, but you need the right straw.
The most common straws used today is the red straw. Although there is nothing wrong with the red straw, wouldn’t it be nice if we had colored straws named after some of America’s most beloved children? If you think about it, who wouldn’t want a blue or yellow straw for their six-year-old birthday. A purple one for the high-school grad that’s going to college, a green straw for a graduate. A white straw to sip some coffee.
Plastic straws are the most popular straws used today, but if plastic is so dangerous to the environment, we need some other kind of straw. If you feel like you want to help the environment, and set yourself apart with a gold or platinum straw, then that could be the straw for you.
So, if you want your drink to be memorable, you must use a straw. Although the straws we use today are not the most innovative or interesting, the straws of the future will be. So, drink all your drinks with a straw from now on, and get ready to sip while you watch the world change.
Why Do People Drink Beverages With Straws?
People use straws for a reason, they serve a purpose.
Straws make drinking easier, they make the drink more pleasurable, and you drink a softer drink. They give the drink something to cling to while the ice goes to work on preparing you for the event you’re experiencing at the moment (like a romantic evening).
Straws have been around for a long time, they’re perfect for every occasion, and they help make you feel better about yourself. Why wouldn’t you use them?
